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Wednesday
Jul242013

Some personal thoughts...

Our adventure with brain cancer began about three years ago and it's been an amazing, yet difficult journey. It's been amazing walking with God and experiencing Him in the day to day, and walking with my family and experiencing them in the day to day as well, as we all deal with this ugly thing called cancer.

I doubt any husband could be prouder of his wife, any son could be prouder of his parents, and any father could be prouder of his kids than I am. I am blessed beyond blessed.

Someone asked me if I've been scared. Yes, I've been scared at times, but not often. But, yes, I've been scared. Have I been disappointed? Yes, but only when we still see cancer on the scans. We all want it to just 'go away'. Have I been tired? Yes, that goes without saying. Have I wanted to give up? No. Do I get sad? Of course, but mostly for my family who has to endure this.

One person encouraged me to write about my experiences so others could know what to do, or who to be, when someone they care about is dealing with cancer. To be honest, just be you and love them as you would want to be loved.

Many months ago the Lord told me that there would be another difficult time that I'd have to go through but that my wife would pray me through it. This is that time. I didn't tell her at the time, but I told her about it this morning. She is my best friend and I thank God many times a day for her.

The One that hurts the most, though, is my Savior. He feels everything I'm feeling, but so much deeper. Yes, He could say 'the word' and I would be instantly healed, but in His infinite love and wisdom He has chosen to love me in a different way. Ultimately, I count it all joy to go through this because in every single thing I've suffered I've always come out of it more in love with Him, my wife, my kids, my parents and those around me. I am a better person because of suffering. Suffering, trials, tribulations all bring me joy in a way I would never know without it.

Walking with God, and praising Him in the midst of suffering, looks really dumb to some people; I can't do anything about that. Not only does the Bible instruct us about it, but I have learned through living it... many times on a daily basis. But I am certainly not unique... suffering is universal, and the faster we all get 'it' the better off we'll be.

Suffering works compassion in us and compassion is the hidden weapon of mass destruction against the schemes of the enemy. He is incapable of compassion but we, the children of God, have a Father who is defined by compassion: He IS compassion. It is through compassion that people are healed, delivered, and set free from their own personal 'prison'. Suffering, if allowed to, brings forth compassion in is His children and through that the Gospel will truly be preached.

Without compassion there is no Gospel at all.

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